Online Zoom Forum: The Fear of Intimacy and the Pursuit of Love.


Date: Sunday 23 April 2023.
Time: 6.30pm-8.30pm (UK time).

Event Description:

Format: There will be three talks, each of 15 minutes, followed by 20 minutes of discussion among the speakers, the chair, and the audience, followed by Q & A.



Phyllida Anam Aire:

Bio: I just love being a fully paid-up participant in this amazing drama of Life. Somehow, I don’t see it as MY Life rather, I have the awful privilege of being called to experience a very short spiral in this dramatic and dynamic mystery of Love made flesh.

Nearing my 80th birthday is such a rich and splendid privilege, one that fills me with deep gratitude to Life Itself. Joy has been a constant companion these past years.



Sólasan Elina von Herzklang:

Title: Perfectionism - my years with that coping mechanisms to avoid intimacy and my healing path.

Description: On my healing path I discovered that an underlying fear of intimacy. My little self had learned in childhood surely not to deserve to be loved and supported. This lead to the need to be "perfect" to prove myself lovable. In my case, it took me to being a workaholic and other manifestations of perfectionism. The fear worked me to push others away rather than allow them to come closer. And over the years, I have felt more and more lonely and worthless, and so my conviction has become more and more solidified. Even though this was certainly great for my employers, I am more and more atrophied inside. Only my near-death experience woke me up. Now I am on the way to grow to more and more compassion for myself. Welcome to listen to my healing path and discover how I feel we can allow LOVE to saturate us, without getting seriously ill or nearly die.

Bio: Sólasan Elina von Herzklang (German), birth and death Doula, mother of four. Researcher in the 13 signs of the zodiac in interaction with femininity/humanity. Singer-Songwriter, Poet and Storyteller. Sólasan is a Priestess and Initiate of Brigid of Ireland. Her devotion is to also be a Guardian and Teacher of the Gutha (Celtic mantras).


Silke Szymura:

Title: How I learned to feel my feelings and give up old boundaries that used to prevent intimacy

Description: I grew up in a family where feelings and especially the expression of feelings had little space. Don't get me wrong, there is a lot of love and affection in my family. But it seems that my parents, and probably their parents, had to distance themselves from their feelings in order to feel safe. Growing up in this way, I then worked as a computer scientist in a very rational area. And all the time I knew that something was missing, that somehow something was wrong. But I had no idea what it was. I even felt guilty about it, because from the outside everything was fine. Until the time ten years ago when my boyfriend suddenly died. The waves of emotions I experienced in my grief suddenly washed to the surface all the other feelings I had not felt before. Through this deep experience of grief and also through the great gift of the all-embracing love that I was allowed to receive in my near-death experience after his death, I slowly began to learn how to feel and express my feelings and emotions. I realised that there was and still is an ongoing process of fear and longing for intimacy at the same time. By allowing myself to be vulnerable, to give up the boundaries of safety that have been established in my family and in our culture, I realise more and more that I not only am surrounded by all-embracing love but that I am and everything actually IS love. In those moments I feel a deep connection not only with others, but above all with myself.

Bio: Silke Szymura (German), writer, grief counsellor, mortician, speaker. She accompanies people in times of grief and crisis. Silke loves to create spaces in which people can be just the way they are. Spaces to talk about death and grief and love.


Darryl Mead:

Title: One man’s journey from a fear of intimacy, to making love the centrepiece of his life.

Short description: Darryl was an only child who grew up in a family where establishing intimacy was frowned upon. It took him 15 years to overcome the initial barriers to intimacy. Now Darryl works on helping other people overcome some of the barriers that might stop them accessing the wonders that true intimacy can provide.

Bio: Darryl grew up in Australia and moved to Scotland in his thirties. After a career as a senior manager in museums, art galleries, archives and libraries, in 2015 he switched to helping people who are experiencing problems from consuming internet pornography. He is now the Chair of ‘The Reward Foundation – Love, Sex and the Internet’, a charity based in Edinburgh.


An archive recording will be made for the EICSP archive.

NB: There will be no refund if you cancel your booking.


The Fear of Intimacy and the Pursuit of Love

Cost: By Donation. For a Registration Form:
Contact: Neill Walker, This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.

(for late inquiries on the day, then email, do not phone.

If you book on the day of the event you will be emailed the Zoom sign-in details 1-2 hours before the event).

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